i rush. i force. i tackle one thing after another if only to keep the pace gogogo. slow and steady requires vigilance. i am not one to play the waiting game. who can blame me, really? the culture i live in breeds plans and to do lists and quick, time saving lifestyles. digital gadgets allow us to stay connected at all hours. the vast majority of americans roll through days saturated in information, buzzed on caffeine, and numbed to their environments.
however, the more i practice mindfulness, the more i ask myself one question: why am i rushing?
you see, i am considering the concept of patience today much more deeply because i hit a road block earlier in the afternoon. as i attempted to register at the local community college for the prerequisites i need to apply to naturopathy colleges, i realized i may or may not need to take prerequisites for my prerequisites. yup. in college i never took real science — no labs, no lecture halls. the liberal arts program i enrolled in covered all my GE’s. those “science” credits i received though? pretty sure they don’t count. suddenly school this semester is up in and air. which leaves me here, delayed.
whenever i stress out (which happens whenever i feel overwhelmed or unable to organize my life…aka: right now) a close friend of mine likes to tell me one thing: you are exactly where you need to be.
i tend to forget good things take time, effort, and unending patience. realistically, my path to medical school may take a good couple of years. i am not sure why i assumed the process would be easy, but the universe is definitely trying to teach me a lesson now. luckily, i am a willing student.
life happens. sometimes, dreams distance themselves because more important things ask for your attention instead. right now, i truly believe i am exactly where i need to be. the more i listen to my intuition, the more i realize how much i need to focus on nurturing myself. my health is one of my top most priorities currently, especially following the aftermath of 2011. in order to move forward, i need to continue to tend to my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health, not immerse myself in stressful environments (school will undoubtedly stress me out because i am horrific at math and science).
i babble about my health all the time, i know. yet, i very often forget about monitoring it whenever life turns breezy. although i am feeling happy and healthy now, i know the state i exist in is impermanent, the foundation fragile. to reach my dreams, i first need to be settled and grounded in my self. i need to remember i am young, that this is a process, and i need to trust it. better yet — i need to enjoy it.
“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”