music monday

i cannot tell you how important music is to me.

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honestly, i don’t know where i would be if my ipod was some how not in my life. probably lost and confused. mhm.

the song i want to share with you today is one by a band i’ve loved for a long time, though i’ve only just recently got this particular onto my ipod (the horror!). the song got me through last week and i’m pretty sure it will get me through many more weeks to come.

WHAT WOULD I WANT? SKY — ANIMAL COLLECTIVE

lyrics (because the words are just that important you need to read them)

Good dreams
Sky
What would I want? Sky
Is everything alright?
You feeling moldy?
You feeling lonely?
You’re not the only
Is everything alright?
You feeling stormy?
You feeling phony?
You’re not the only
Do you get up up up?
Clouds stop and move above me
Too bad they can’t help me
What is the right way?
Do I float up up up?
When I stop and look around me,
Gray’s where that color should be,
What is the right way?
Old glasses clinking and a new order’s blinking
And I, I should be floating but I’m weighted by thinking
That I got on the river,
Really can’t make it change,
When the sky gets filled up too fast
And the taxi man’s saying, “You better
Give me some money,
Stop daydreaming, dude!”
When the point of horizon is hiding from you,
What would you want, sky?
What would I want? Sky
Is everything alright?
You feeling lonely?
You feeling moldy?
You’re not the only
Is everything alright?
You feeling stormy?
You feeling phony?
You’re not the only
(Are you taking it lightly?
Lost in the flurry
You start to worry
You will be buried
Taking it lightly
And so you hurry
And then you worry
Here come those flurries)
Do you get up up up?
Clouds stop and move above me
Too bad they can’t help me
What is the right way?
Do I float up up up?
When I stop and look around me,
Gray’s where that color should be,
What is the right way?
(Taking it lightly?
Lost in the flurry
You start to worry
You will be buried
Taking it lightly
And so you hurry
And then you worry
Here come those flurries)
Old glasses clinking and a new order’s blinking
And I, I should be floating but I’m weighted by thinking
I’m a fly on the river,
Gotta make me some change,
When the sky gets filled up too fast
And the taxi cab’s waiting, you better
Give him some money,
Stop daydreaming, dude,
When the point of horizon is hiding its blues
What would you want, sky?
What would I want? Sky

namaste

zoe

music monday + an announcement

music:

friend loaded this onto my computer a few weeks back. cannotcannotcannot stop listening. i love anything sufjan stevens. so, obviously, i lovelovelove this. in the car, on walks, writing, dancing. any time. it’s lovely.

announcement:

i was waiting for the appropriate time to share this and, well, the time feels right.

a month from today i will be in germany, starting a two and a half month long travel journey.

though i will spend roughly the first 10 days with my dad, we will leave each other in london on april 21st, at which point i will embark on a solo trip. I AM FUCKING STOKED. traveling abroad is a childhood dream, one i’ve been saving for since i starting collecting birthday money before i hit the double digits in age. i am going everywhere i can. every where my bank account can take me. my rough plan puts starts me in england, leads me to ireland, to spain, to southern france, to italy, to switzerland, possibly up through germany again, to belgium, and back to paris, france where i fly out of.

one more time: I AM SO FUCKING STOKED.

for a really long time i thought and believed i needed to travel with another person. for safety purposes, for loneliness purposes, for but i encountered a few problems with that plan. i met two types of people: ones with money but with no balls, and ones with balls but no money. no one ever seemed able to travel with me. i got tired of waiting, of sitting on my steadily growing unrest.

about a month ago my dad told me about a brewery tour his company was flying him out to germany for. the restless creature inside of me perked up. and, well, that was that. i hopped on that trip, not waiting for the consent of my parents because, oh, yeah, i’m an adult and don’t need to do that anymore. i forget that sometimes. honestly, i feel lucky to not be traveling with anyone. there is a freedom in solo journeys you can’t get while traveling with others. i am bound only by my loose plans and the breeze of curiosity. i like to believe that all this time i’ve been spending alone has prepped me some for the quiet days i will face.

am i terrified? yes.
am i excited? fuck yes.

i anticipate learning a lot. i anticipate a few tense moments. mostly though, i anticipate not coming back the same person. that’s all i can really ask for.

i am telling you all this because i am not bringing my computer. i doubt i will blog much, if at all. this trip isn’t about sitting in front of a screen. it’s about exploring sleepy towns, foreign cities, and the depths of my self. it’s about expanding and learning. it’s about fulfilling my 2012 intentions: doing things that scare me the most.

please share any traveling tips, places to see, hostels to stay at. share anything. and know that yes, i know to be safe. i ask you to not scare me like everyone is trying to do.

namaste

zoe

(p.s: why are egg yolks like, so fucking good? mmm dinner.)

music monday + monday lessons

mmm monday.

(san francisco on saturday on random street walks with my friend)

a light breeze, fat clouds, sunshine kind of monday.

i woke up intending to work out the whole day because i ate cake last night and militant, dictator zoe ordered it to be done. under strict authority, i laced up tennis shoes after i slipped out of my sheets and dreamy early morning haze. i skipped breakfast too for good measure. funny how plans figure their way out, though.

because the television spazzed out. and my brother came home sick from school. and my stomach grumbled loudly. and i picked up a pen and undid my tennis shoes. and i wrote into my journal. and i realized: “i still think my weight matters in the measure of happiness. so i still chase it as being the problem of all my problems” (journal quotes). silly anxious and negative self. it’s just cake, not the devil. calm yourself.

so i ate some breakfast, ate some more cake, laced up my tennis shoes, and took the walk i actually wanted. i listened to two pod-casts, did some yoga in the park under the sun, felt the grass beneath my feet. three or so hours later i am home, rested and happy and not thinking about that cake from last night or the cake from earlier. just how awesome my legs feel and how settled my heart is in my chest.

and how awesome this song is.

because i am in love with bon iver.

and mondays, for that matter.

namaste

zoe

(p.s: please don’t steal my photos. thanks!)

music monday

music makes monday so much better.

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or, really, any day better.

before the music though, an astrology announcement:

(because i nerd out over shit the stars tell us)

we transitioned into pisces today so the mood’s all dreamy and spiritual and light and dark all at the same time. i feel happy, calm, motivated, and creative right now. the spiritual energy we wade through under pisces’ influence can be difficult to manage. advice: go with the flow.

if you’re interested at all, i highly recommend checking out here and here. they’ll explain it all a bit better than me, i think!

okay.

nerd session over.

music:

feist! honestly, i generally have to be a feist mood to listen to her…but not with this song! i could listen to this all day. every day.

and, because it’s monday and because monday can have to potential to be lame, here’s a remix of the above song by another guy i love. boyz noize is just one dude from germany and he fucking kills it. i heard this version of my moon, my man first, actually! (warning: this one may not be for everyone. heh…)

may the start of your monday be all kiiiiinds of musical!

namaste

zoe

music monday + HUGStronger

mmmm, the promise of a new week!

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kicking it off with beautiful music always helps wash away those monday blues.

today imma introduce you to phantogram.

i first heard phantogram over the summer when i spent three blissful days at outside lands in san francisco. a friend i was with at the festival loved them and took me to see them. recently, the same friend included them on a CD she made for me. um.

i’m hooked.

the band consists of two people, a man and a woman. they’re flipping awesome. i’ll start you off with the first song i ever heard and let you adventure a little more if you choose to. (choose to).

MOUTHFUL OF DIAMONDS :: PHANTOGRAM

before i wrap up and wish you a pleasant monday, i want to share something else. over the weekend a reader named kaleigh e-mailed me about blog community she started for young women in college: HUGStronger. i took a peek around the site and all i have to say is this: i wish i had a community like HUGStronger when i was in school!

instead of me trying to sum up what HUGStronger stands for, i will allow kaleigh’s own words to explain:

Kaleigh Somers’s college years were plagued by periods of personal doubt and depression, issues with body image, and academic obsessions.

To help empower college students and reassure them that they are not alone in their struggles, be those personal, professional, academic, or athletic, she developed HUGstronger, a content-driven blog community that operates on the belief that honest, authentic storytelling can change the world. The site categorizes posts into relationship struggles, being away from home, health issues, fitting in, academics, and letters to undergraduates in the same field of study.

HUGstronger launched on January 9, 2012 with a team of more than twenty writers. Updated daily, the site continues to drive new visitors as it reaches across the country—Michigan and Iowa, New York and Georgia—and across the globe—Australia, the United Kingdom, India and the Philippines.

“My close friends from home and school were struggling with extreme dieting, sexual promiscuity, panic disorders and suicidal thoughts,” says founder Kaleigh Somers. “I couldn’t sit back and let that drive their college experiences, and I knew empowered storytelling could change that.”

In just ten years, the number of women battling anorexia has increased by more than 75 percent. In the last year alone, bullying-related suicide has dominated the national news. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues are rising at dramatic rates. Now, more than ever, undergrads need support.

The HUGstronger team believes young adults need to rise up against the biggest issues they face, but first they must know the team is here, extending a hand, offering them a virtual hug.

On January 30, HUGstronger launched a campaign on IndieGoGo to increase marketing efforts and pay for site redesign costs. Within a week, the team had already raised more than a third of its goal and donations continue to flood in.

College-aged individuals can read informative, empowering posts by like-minded individuals at www.hugstronger.com . They can also submit their stories , share how they’ve helped others grow since coming to college, and join the HUGstronger team .

HUGstronger continues to seek new writers to join the team and contribute on a one-time or regular basis. The more stories shared, the more likely readers will connect with the team and its mission.

can we talk about amazing people? because kaleigh is definitely one of them. a lot of girls and young women struggle silently in college. we feel disconnected and isolated in our problems. we don’t know how to speak up and speak out. kaleigh has not only created a platform for this, but a community as well. you’ll find people to connect with, people to share with, people who understand. take a look around HUGStronger. fight for what you believe in and fight against all you don’t. doing it with other people makes the cause that much stronger.

one more time for good measure: HUGStronger.

have a lovely monday!

namaste

zoe

music monday

remember when i did this?

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i am the most inconsistent person i know.

sorry.

i am not goal oriented. i am not a list person. i am not organized (at all).

i am terribly afraid of commitment. on all levels. i never really want to be — it just happens. it just is, always has been.

i’m working on it.

because structure is good, right?

right…

recently, a friend dumped truck loads of music into my life. considering i was basically listening to the same, oh, thirty or so songs on repeat, the newness was entirely welcomed. entirely.

especially when i discovered this band. over and over and over again.

on walks, in the kitchen, while showering, and dancing around the house…

i am utterly head over heels in love with local natives.

madly, passionately, crazy over their words, their sounds, their rhythm. i try to temper this musical addiction, promise i will go a day without listening but then…well, i am not one to ever possess much will power.

start here.

then move on to every other song. (hint: you can listen to them all on their website. doitdoitdoit.)

especially this one.

especially.

namaste

zoe

(p.s: see? i promise i do have a life outside of this fucking eating disorder bullshit. i want to change my perspective. i’ll write to you about that soon, i think.

p.p.s: anyone have any suggestions about how to calm anxiety? i am crazy acidic anxious today for various (very dumb) reasons, luckily without urges to hurt myself with food or other things. is simply sitting with this okay? that’s normal too, right?)