music monday

i skipped self-love sunday not because i lacked self-love…

…but because i was having too much fun last night. one of my really close friends came up from san francisco and we basically giggled away the midnight hours until she passed out (one beer too many perhaps ?). theeen my roommate came home, at which point we talked until oh, almost three in the morning.

last week definitely did see some self-love. change is coming. i see it, feel it, and am starting to believe it. the pieces of this fucked up puzzle are starting to find their home in the grander picture. i am beyond thrilled. i am beyond exhausted, too. it’s been a really, really rough two years. i am so ready to tie up this box and never look inside again.

today’s agenda looks promising too. my friend is still here. we’re about to venture out for a late (uh, super late) breakfast. next up, evening yoga and post-yoga climbing with another close friend and hopefully both my roomies.

did i tell you i joined my college’s gym? they offer memberships to alumni. i am excited and nervous, as i am just starting to carefully balance the exercise issues. i am confident it won’t spiral out of control like last time though.

and as for the title of today’s post…i’m going to start sharing with you a song on mondays. music is really important to me and i can only assume it is important to you. i can also only assume that, like me, you all love hearing new music and being turned onto new bands. so. today i will leave you with yet another avett brother’s tune. i seriously wake up every day with them swimming around my brain. i lovelovelove them.

today’s avett brother’s song? will you return.

i hope you enjoy it

enjoy your day as well! i’m about to head off. it’s ridiculous indian summer weather over here. we’re inching into the 90′s as-we-speak. so much for fall!

best part of your weekend?

namaste

zoe

(something else really cool? this week’s free yogatoday(.com) hour long session is a awesome looking hip opener that serves to “burn away that which no longer serves you….doubts, fears, undigested emotions.” every thing is pointing to releasing!)

ignoring negative nancy

last night i went climbing with a friend.

sunday nights usually draw a small crowd. it’s the emptiness i love, the quietness i look forward to, and the down tempo vibe that lends an easiness to the atmosphere. i spent the first hour or so attempting to finish a v2 (bouldering route) i never finished last time. i still did not finish it. although i definitely, definitely progressed and am super close to finishing it, all i heard was “failure”. which triggered a trickle down effect of negative chatter.

i started hearing “i’ll never be a decent climber.”

a thought that reminds me of similar thoughts:
“i’ll never be able to be a strong, nimble yogi.”
“i’ll never finish another story. i’ll never be a decent writer.”
“i’ll never be able to be committed to anything.”

the question left me asking, am i really unable to be and do these things? or am i merely influencing the outcome by being negative?

if i do not immediately understand something, i generally immediately quit. frustration deflates me kiiind of quickly. i get all inflated with negative, self-depricating thoughts instead, the ones that guide me to my eventual demise.

i think i’m learning negative thinking totally impacts the outcome of actions.

i am realizing more and more how much patience is needed. well, in just about everything, but particularly in regards to something requiring skill. to gain any kind of skill, you gotta put in a little something called practice. and dedication to that practice.

the negative voice has no right to knock you down and rob you of your practice. or convince you of your inabilities. or instill such doubt in you that you don’t even try. it takes a lot to overcome the automatic negative voice. it’s kind of a big old case of “try, try, and try again.” it’s learning from each not-so-successful attempt and withholding judgement when you feel the need to slap a label on the outcome. it’s recognizing when you start drifting off into the negative chatter and catching yourself before you float off entirely.

and it takes patience. a lot of patience.

getting there.

do you struggle with negativity? do you think negative thoughts have an impact on your life? how so?

namaste

zoe

(p.s: this is my 100th post! on this site at least. i have no idea how many i posted on the old blog hah

p.p.s: i didn’t binge yesterday!!!! i had no urge to (not normal) and felt so completely free. hoping it carries onto today!)