i wasn’t going to post today but, you know.
by zoe
i had too.
so, i harbor this mad woman crush on kate of eat the damn cake. she’s an awesome writer. she’s honest. she eats cake. girl after my own heart.
anyway, she wrote a post recently about sexiness. specifically about bodily sexiness. it’s pretty brilliant and i recommend you read it. i kind of freaked out because she put into words how i feel and how i think on a pretty much regular basis.
however, as i read through the comments section, i got all eye-brow-arched-curious. people responded to the question of what makes you sexy with “MY INSIDES”. a lot of people shied away from rejoicing in the sexiness of their sexy bodies. while, yes, i agree completely that sexiness starts from the insides and radiates outward (pretty sure i added that as a second comment because i treat comments sections in blogs like real life conversations), why the hell can we not appreciate both physical and internal sexiness?
as someone who was so out of touch with her body for like, oh, you know, her whole life, finding my physical self sexy is no golf-clap deserving feat. it’s something i want to and am and will celebrate. because i used to look in the mirror and cry all over myself. because i used to say, “i hate you, body.” and i wasn’t kidding. to rejoice in my body, to find it attractive and wildly sexy, is, to me anyway, sexy.
divorcing the concept of sexiness from your body simply doesn’t sound healthy to me. that’s disassociating. women in western media are, unfortunately, victimized and sexualized unhealthily. i think a lot of the time women reject that, and i don’t blame them. the affects of being put on display as mere sexual meat with no real substance past boobs and ass are real. i am not denying that. however, completely detaching from the body and focusing solely on the attractiveness of spirit discredits you and your body. your have a body for a reason. for a few reasons, as far as i’m concerned. to carry your spirit, to give you the ability to move, and, most importantly, to enjoy it. to appreciate it. to see it as lovely.
clearly we need to rewrite the script for what physical sexiness is, what it looks like. which, to me anyway, is this: ALL BODIES OF ALL SHAPES AND SIZES AND COLORS ARE INEXTRICABLY SEXY.
maybe when we change our attitude about the word ‘sexy’ and what our patriarchal society has defined as sexy women will again own their physical sexiness and view their bodies as beautiful, sexy, attractive vessels. not things to be manipulated into an unobtainable, unrealistic version of ‘sexy’.
reclaim your sexiness. make it known. there is no reason to not feel sexy. who is telling you otherwise?
what do you think? can we own our physical sexiness without losing our feminist integrity?
namaste
zoe
personally, i think being sexy is being comfortable in your own skin. it’s not bad to be sexy as long as sexy is just an aspect of who you are. we as women begin to lose integrity and value when we let our sexuality become too much or all of who we are.
so yes, we should all embrace out physical sexuality. and i’m glad you are.